Stephanie Elaine Harrington Maryland Maryland


I fell in love with this young woman. We were together for three years before I left on my second deployment with the Army, on my way to Afghanistan. I told her before I left, if she didn’t think she could make it through the deployment to let me know. She said she would wait for me, and that she could make it work. We skyped every chance we got. I even got injured during my first week overseas (which she didn’t even believe when I returned home). I finally went home on leave for Valentines Day, I proposed, she said yes! I left when my two weeks was up. Thinking everything was great between us. When I first got home for good in May, I could tell something was wrong. She wouldn’t say anything, we had a great night the first night. The next morning, as I was putting my boots on to be back in formation, she asks me if she can tell me something. I say,”yeah, you can tell me anything.” She stares for a minute and tells me she’s pregnant. With a guy I had told her to stop talking to months before. She said she wasn’t sleeping with him, but she had gotten blackout drunk and he must have taken advantage of her when she was passed out. I asked if she wanted to file charges, if he took advantage while she was unconscious. She reluctantly says,”no.” I told her I wasn’t going to raise his child. If she wanted to raise the baby and let him know she was pregnant, and be with him, that was fine. But she said she wanted to be with me and would just get rid of the baby. As far as I’ve been told, she let him know she was pregnant but said she had miscarried. || We got married in August, I bought my house in September. Things were ok for a little while, then all the classic signs of distance began. She wouldn’t take share of responsibilities in the household. Due to my injuries, I was not allowed to work, finances got tight, she refused to help with our situation. Every opportunity she got, she would go to the beach, or the bar, or a party and leave me at home with a debilitating back and hip injury and barely making the bills. || The following Summer, as our relationship had gotten thin, she began spending her weekends at a mutual friends house. She hid her phone, locked her screen. He had a few young children and she was basically playing”House Wife” with his family. One night at dinner, she asked me if I was happy. I said, sure. So, I asked her if she was happy and she told me she didn’t know. I asked if she meant she might want a divorce. Again, she said she didn’t know. I told her to sleep on it and let me know. When she came home from work the next day, she told me she thought we could get our marriage annulled. She got divorce papers. That’s when I accepted that it was over. So, we basically became roommates for a month or so. She kept spending time with her pretend family, thinking I still didn’t know what was going on. One day, her boyfriend told her he didn’t want to continue the relationship and that he had found someone else. So, she comes home and tells me how she’s going to make our marriage work. All the things she’s going to change. I told her that was fine, but nothing was going to change. It was already over for me. She didn’t change. During all of this time, I’m dealing with VA appointments, psychiatrists for my PTSD, multiple doctors for my back and hip. I didn’t need her in my house just to top it all off. I was at a really low point in my life. One day, while she was still here and we were fighting, I asked her what mattered more, my life or getting what you want. Again, she said,”I don’t know.” She moved back in with her Mom, all the while telling everyone that she didn’t understand why we were separated. || The worse things that really should have been red flags for me, were that she never changed her name to her married name, she never changed her address when she moved into my house as a married couple, she never would fill out paperwork to be on my insurance. Nothing in the house was in her name, ever.

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