You know? I don’t even know why I’m writing this… I mean in reality who is going to care about my husband cheating on me and the women he left me for anyway? Who cares what they look like? Or who’s prettier? That’s not what it’s about. It’s about the fact I’ve been cheated. My family has been cheated. We had a life and it has fallen apart all because two people couldn’t think about the consequences of their actions. Then again… I cheated too. He started talking to another woman and had always treated me like shit… So I cheated. Was it wrong? Yes. No matter what he did to me, there isn’t an excuse for cheating. So if I post pictures and point out names I guess I need to put us all up. So what am I to do? I can’t play innocent. Because I’m not, and never claimed to be. But still, even through all the wrong he has done, it always turns out to be my fault. Every time. Nothing is ever his fault. || We were married at 17, so maybe we were just too young. We had a baby at 18, so maybe that’s why. Or maybe because I was never put first. Just once I wish I could say I came first. But it was always his family or friends. I would cry and beg him every night to love me (yes pathetic, I’m sure there are mean people who will point out anyway), but I loved him. So I stayed and I sucked it up. I was called names only a daily basis and put down always. At thanksgiving he called me a heifer in front of my entire family. How embarrassing and humiliating. But still I stuck by his side. Why? Because I loved him. Why did I love him so much still? I don’t know. Stupidity I guess. There came a time though when I started to build a wall. A HUGE wall. Every mean word, every mean action and me coming last on the priority list… Every time he did one of those, my wall got stronger. I couldn’t keep being punched down. Then he started talk to”Christina”, who is actually Michelle. Of course he lied to me for a year about her real name. He says they didn’t have sex, but the emotional relationship was real. Hours talking on the phone and hundreds of texts. But again, it was my fault because I became so distant. It’s always my fault, remember. || I got to a point where I would look at myself in the mirror and just cry. I hated myself and everything about me. Why wasn’t I good enough? Because I’m fat? Ugly? Can’t keep house? Because I have a weird laugh? Was I a bad person? Have an awful personality? But these are the thoughts of every cheated woman. I assume? Sorry if I jumped to a conclusion. Maybe it was just me. I wanted to remember who I was… I had actually forgotten who I was. How does that happen? How do you lose yourself in someone? I was so hurt and so angry. I felt so unwanted and like I was disposable. So I numbed the pain with Jessi. He worshiped the ground I walked on. But he wasn’t Kenny. Everything he said to me was right… But he wasn’t Kenny. Why didn’t Kenny love me like that? What was so wrong with me? But once I started seeing Jesse Kenny decided he wanted me! He begged and pleaded and did whatever he could. I wanted him so bad, I love my husband. But how did I know he would change? I didn’t? I was scared to go back and also it felt good having him really want me for once. So freaking good. But I stayed with Jesse, because I couldn’t trust Kenny. So Kenny slept with another girl. Again, I was cheated. But here I was with Jesse. But through all that we got back together. We made it! Or so I thought. But then fights would keep coming. I finally gave up Jesse, I finally decided to again give it my all and put down that wall. But he decided on Katie instead. He swears up and down it was after he broke up with me. Yet they were in a”relationship” on Facebook the day after. Tell me how that works? I tried to win him back. But his friends and family and him were so mean. So mean. So I stopped trying. I put a no contact order in place so I could move on. It took me 6 dang months to do so, but I did. I was still sad, yes. But I also was happier. || Then started the childish stuff. I got texts from random numbers with pictures of Kenny and Katie and even mail! I was so done. I was so over the crap. Then one day my friend wrote me. She said”I talked to Kenny.” And I said”who?” She said”Kenny. Your ex? And he wrote you something.” So I opened it and read it. He stole my heart yet again. He told me what he wanted to say, but couldn’t because he was afraid I’d put him in jail. And how he didn’t love Katie. So we met up and started talking. One thing led to another and we decided that we wanted each other. I was so happy. But I was still hurt over Katie. He expected my pain to be gone right then and there. But it wasn’t gone. He had sex with her the night before he made love to me. He introduced her to his entire family only 5 months after he left me. I tried hard to be better and do things, but it was all one sided again. Yet again, I did everything to prove my love, but to him I’ve never been worth fighting for. So here I am again. In this position again. Yes, I know, my stupid mistake. I get it, he obviously doesn’t truly love me. But how can I be so disposable? I could you lead me on like that. I’ve learned my lesson now, but it doesn’t hurt any less. I hope someone reads this and I hope it stops someone from cheating or sleeping with another married person. Because it hurts so bad. How could you want to hurt someone that bad? || My family has been ripped apart, my heart is broken and my world crashed before my eyes. Don’t do that to someone. It takes two to tango! So not only was it my husbands fault, but also Katie’s. She knew she was destroying a marriage, but she did it anyway. That goes for Jesse and I as well. We all took part. So NO ONE is innocent in a situation like this. But I do deserve better. I do deserve someone who would give me unconditional love. And so do you. Don’t cheat, please. Don’t sleep with a married person, please. I’m begging all of you! Don’t hurt someone like that. Please. || The picture of the girl with the blue hair is the other”woman” with my husband || The other is my husband and I || And the next is Jesse. || If you want the truth out I will tell, Kenny. All of it. Because I can admit my mistakes. Can you?