Erin Coffman Muze Moon Township, Pennsylvania Pennsylvania

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Here is my story: I was married for 23 years to a man whom I met in high school. I married him one year right out of high school at age 19. I bore him three children while being by his side for all the 20 years as being a navy Wife. I put up with his porn addiction, internet affairs, and possible”real” affairs, but not really having true evidence. After, he retired; we tried to live a normal life going back home. After 23 years, he met his mistress he dated for 1 month before dating me in 1987 at my best friend’s party. I couldn’t be there because our oldest was having a very hard time dealing with her own marriage and infidelity, so I stayed home. The date was June 28, 2010. Since that day, and I wasn’t there, they continued to have a phone/internet affair until I caught them August,6,2010 online and texting sexual disgusting images of each other. I was very angry and kicked him out. He blamed me for kicking him out and went to her in SC. They had sex because I found a love letter and a track phone in his truck at our son’s football game. I tried to see if he was sorry because our two adult children were so distraught and our 14 year old son was devastated. He choose not to come back so I filed for divorce. He got angry with me because I did that. I think he wanted his cake and eat it too. || Not long after, he moved his mistress back here to where we live and put her up in an apartment 1 mile from me. Then after our divorce in ’11 my mother died two months later. (My only parent left) My daughter went off to college, and the other went back with her husband. There I was from a family of 5 to 2. 3 weeks after my mother died, I was in a horrible accident which had broken and shattered both bones in left leg. It required surgery and weeks of hospital stays. I recovered 6 months, but now they are living together in the same apartment. He chooses her over our children all the time. I forgot to mention she was married too. I spent 25 years with the only man that I truly loved and they parade around my own home town like she was a queen. It takes everything inside of me not to put my hands on their necks and choke them! || They say time heals all wounds. I still can’t get over the fact that he deserted his family we created including our dogs. I have been to counseling, taken anti depression medications even started college again, but I can’t help my anger towards the both of them.(She doesn’t have children, and is one year younger than I.(43) With our children graduating soon from college, and possibly marriage, I have no idea if I can handle being in the same room with them! She even tried to pretend she is the nice lady. Now, they left our town to move to another state and he never sees our oldest daughter. I know the parental visits will soon cease. While he was living in the same town ,he would take her on vacation, but has never taken our son by court order for his two weeks in the summer until, I recently gave him no choice a few weeks ago. My son is caught because he never saw his father and I can tell he desperately wants a father figure in his life since he has no male influences from either family. He never had a relationship with him while he was in the Navy. She even asks my girls if they want to go and have drinks sometime with her. || I have tried to have a talk with her woman to woman on the phone when I got her number in the beginning but she continued to lie that this was not Erin and she would be back. Then of course my ex- called back yelling at me because I found the number. Since then I have also tried to have a sit down after the divorce to get some questions answered and I asked her to apologize. I quote, she said to me,”I will not. We are in love and you separated anyway.” I tried to let time heal the wounds. Since then I felt it was only right in case my son or my ex needed me there were another contact number. I gave him my guy that I am seeing phone number. Then when I made them take my son this summer for the first time and when I need to get a hold of him or his father and no one answers, I found out her new number. I gave her a nice text to call me, I had a few questions regarding when my son was visiting they didn’t mention in a not that he got hurt and had many headaches. (Due to his post-concussion syndrome from football x 4 concussions). He has been out of school and homebound with only me dealing with all the doctors and numerous tests, therapists and etc. Again the ex-slammed me for nicely texting her. I replied again to her thank you for not responding to me when I asked you nicely to communicate with me. He screamed at me again so bad, and then told me that she could kick my ass so bad. I had to laugh. I told him she was super lucky she hasn’t had a beat down from me since this whole thing started. It’s all the mind games. She tries to get my kids to like her. My kids are just tired that I am still dealing with this ad their father moved on. They don’t understand the pain. This is her. I should thank him for setting me free of all the unknowns, but I don’t know how to really go on. My parents were my rock and they are dead. Friends help, but I am orphaned and still are having a real hard time with this. || What should I do ?I have been dating a man who is great to me and the kids. They love him, but I still have a hard time with trust. My ex is still a constant liar. He never communicates with me as we again had a meeting regarding such issues. She refuses to meet me alone and talk this out so I can have closure. He said, “he would start communicating and asking about my son’s health issues and the other two kids.”As of today, he started to not answering my texts when he was supposed to because he was super late picking him up on his 4 day a month visit. He also moved out of state, and I don’t know my rights as to what to do? I do not know if it is jealousy, or just plain anger towards the both of them and what they did to me and my family. I am not comfortable to live with anyone, let alone marry. I apologize my informal writing, my hands keep typing as fast as these thoughts cross my mind!

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